Have you ever looked at a BANAL, generic, bunch of nonsense words strung together in a breach confession (marketing/legal department propaganda) and wondered, "now how do I create something as mesmerising as that?". I know I have many times as actually considering the implications of breaches for your users send like too much hard work (in case you don't know, I'm being sarcastic). Well look no further, as an online generator tool has been released that uses a simple template to create them for you! Now you too can spend as little time as possible demonstrating that you don't care about privacy and security, rather than fretting about silly things like wording and culpability. We do live in fantastic times!\n\nWhy the F*** Was I Breached?\n\nLaughing at organisations trying to convince us they take our security seriously with bland, generic breach notices\n\nThe only thing that template is missing right now is a "we take the privacy and security of your data very seriously" prepended or appended to the generated notice for extra implied "we don't care"! Hopefully the author will be adding this, and other generic garbage in future updates 🤣. I have included a few samples below to get across just how fantastic this tool is 🤓😎, pardon the profanity btw!\n\nGenerated breach notice, where Americans forced us to confess, PCI should save us in the future though\n\nGenerated breach notice, where APTs hopped through our window and made off with petabytes of data, we promise it won't happen again 🤣\n\nGenerated breach notice, where a state DDoSed our system and nicked some private keys but after a stern word they will be leaving us alone\n\nGenerated breach notice, and thus time the Anonymous collective exposed our IoT to snap our database, but don't worry we now have an IDS\n\nTake care and all the best. Si.